Clare gets angry and I go numb. The death of others often leaves me feeling lethargic – I find my mind foggy. When someone leaves, I don’t know anything. I was filled with an uncomfortable feeling of confusion, it was as strong as the effect of drugs. It’s a kind of stagnation, I think. One neuron connection is missing. A person who was once here is no longer here. I can’t seem to understand. Jonathan, you scoundrel,” Clare said. “Just when things were starting to work out.” She crumpled the paper up and threw it in the trash, then dug it up again, as if she thought she needed to keep it as evidence.
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